I experienced a very difficult spiritual attack this weekend that I am just beginning to pull out of. It started Thursday afternoon and continued for over 48 hours. I had a busy week between my job as a special education teacher, my ministry as a Young Life Leader, and my responsibilities as a wife and mother. It was my first week back after Christmas vacation, and by Thursday I was feeling overwhelmed emotionally and beginning to feel sick physically. My throat was sore and other cold symptom were beginning to emerge. In spite of this, I had a mountain of work to complete.
I layed in bed with my laptop all day Friday while my kids were in school, drinking hot tea with vitamin C and trying to complete ministry work. My anxiety level kept mounting and my productivity level kept decreasing. I knew I was under a spiritual attack, but I didn’t know where it was coming from until my quiet time this morning. It is my experience that the enemy cannot toy with me unless there is an unsanctified area in my life, so I asked the Lord to show me what it was.
This morning’s study verse was as follows:
“With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.” 2 Thessalonians 1:11
Other related verses are:
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
“All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:17
In a moment, as only he can do, the Holy Spirit spotlighted the ego that had been driving me lately. I don’t want to do good work; I want to do great work! I want to be a great teacher and a great Young Life leader, and this pride was opening me up to this attack.
As I laid down my pride, my burdens became lighter and the anxiety dissipated. The only area in my life where I need to pursue perfection is in the area of holiness.